When I sit and consider how I have been used and abused by my family, I'm just broken hearted. I never had a chance. I was used as a puppet in some ridiculous global conspiracy that just degraded me... raped me. No one shows up for me. Why? What black magic spells did my Great Grandfather cast that welcomed this loveless existence? I wouldn't know how to undo them anyway. I just pray. I pray every day that someone other than me gives that little blue eyed girl I used to be love. I can't even begin to tell you how difficult it's been to find out you come from a family who loves the lies they created more than you. The things I have been forced to witness and see would drive anyone mad. I'm not mad. I'm not angry. I walked away from it. My father told me I would die sad and lonely, simply because I told the truth. He never told me a damn thing that was true. I shouldn't believe that is any truer than everything he told me about himself. He's a liar. Still, I'm homeless. Where is this home that is so elusive? The Nazis took that from me. My own family, loved the lies that they weren't Nazis more than they loved me, which just fucking proved they were heartless Nazis. Where do I go? What do I do? God, why aren't you showing me the next step? I'm not afraid. I'm exhausted.