When I sit and consider how I have been used and abused by my family, I'm just broken hearted. I never had a chance. I was used as a puppet in some ridiculous global conspiracy that just degraded me... raped me. No one shows up for me. Why? What black magic spells did my Great Grandfather cast that welcomed this loveless existence? I wouldn't know how to undo them anyway. I just pray. I pray every day that someone other than me gives that little blue eyed girl I used to be love. I can't even begin to tell you how difficult it's been to find out you come from a family who loves the lies they created more than you. The things I have been forced to witness and see would drive anyone mad. I'm not mad. I'm not angry. I walked away from it. My father told me I would die sad and lonely, simply because I told the truth. He never told me a damn thing that was true. I shouldn't believe that is any truer than everything he told me about himself. He's a liar. Still, I'm homeless. Where is this home that is so elusive? The Nazis took that from me. My own family, loved the lies that they weren't Nazis more than they loved me, which just fucking proved they were heartless Nazis. Where do I go? What do I do? God, why aren't you showing me the next step? I'm not afraid. I'm exhausted.
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hmm... This is a super soldier forum. Where you involved in super soldier programs or satanic ritual abuse or something like that? How did you find the forum?
Yeah, my family kinda created MK Ultra and used it on family
why do you think your family created MK Ultra? How are your family members Nazis?
Theodore Gilbert Morell (Grandpa)
Mike Morell (cousin)
look them up
that is some interesting lineage. Perhaps you could tell us what your family did in these super soldier projects?
Fuck if I know. They won’t even tell me what they did to me. My family won’t talk to me anymore because I won’t stop asking. They love the lies.
Then there’s the generational sexual abuse in my family and the amount of people in my family in law enforcement. I never met Mike… I tried to, but I’m assuming since I started asking the internet about Grandpa before I found out I have a cousin Mike, he was obliged not to respond to me considering the powerful position Hitler’s Gynecologist’s grandson has in the US government (but the CIA isn’t actually a part of the government now is it).
Yup, pretty sure. Operation Paperclip… yup… I was sent to the United Nations World Summit on Sustainable Development in Johannesburg, South Africa 2002. I didn’t know about either of them at that point.
How I started figuring things out about Operation Paperclip was I went to visit Grandpa’s grave and his name was wrong on the shared headstone with my grandmother. Her info was right, but his first name was wrong. The only name anyone ever called my Grandpa was Ted. I googled his name and found the Wiki. The Wiki is actually my Great grandfather. The more I dug, the more members of my family were dying. My cousin Josh was suicided off a bridge in my cousin John’s precinct (he’s chief of police)… there are those in my family that didn’t want the truth about Operation Paperclip coming out. I’ve been mostly homeless since I found out… my identity was stolen… every social media account I’ve had has been hacked. I just pray anymore. I give up trying to get the truth out of those people. They’re terrible.
so your family abandoned you figuring out your heritage?
Let’s just say there was a series of unfortunate events and generational abuses that set toxic behavior patterns that I was no longer able to tolerate because I went into emotional crisis connected to me helping expose all those priests in PA… read my book… I was dealing with very complex sexual abuse issues… I found out about Grandpa around the same time I had a very violent and painful Kundalini eruption. And recovered memories… lots of recovered memories. It was like I was an instant alien to everyone around me. I don’t know. I wish it would all just end. It’s all so fucking complicated. Bottom line, I ended up blowing all sorts of whistles at the Red Cross. I know the system erased me, banned me, and dehumanized me. Erie has a governing body that is sexually abusive and I would argue that’s because there have been generations of citizens who were sexually abused by the educational institutions in this town and the Churches. No one wants to address that. I have seen way too much. My immediate family is very toxic and they really don’t give a damn if I’m dead or alive. Zero fucks at all. What happens to people who have a legitimate grievance against the governing bodies? Homeless and hungry like me!
There’s a weird cognitive dissonance with my family. My family does nothing but yell and scream and threaten each other. I was more quiet. I did yoga. I mediated a lot. I read books and wrote volumes work. I disconnected from their behavior, because they are abusive people. They come from Nazis, what could I expect from them? We are talking like the densest family karma. If you don’t heal the shit inside which caused Genocides, how can you expect anything but toxic behavior? I can’t make anyone love me or even give a shit. Super soldiers, yeah, fuck you very much Model UN for fucking everything in existence up.
Just seeing Max Spiers face on YouTube made a torrent of emotions and memories explode in me. The first time I encountered a video with him in it, I cried nonstop for a whole weekend. The things I was remembering didn’t make sense.
You asked about SRA… my book’s title is Matilda’s Battle Waltz. I am a Candy Girl. I have duel memories for certain things… abuse and aliens… holes and dirt shoveled on my face.
Max died from the Black Goo. I survived the black goo. The school I was working at while I was writing my book, we all had that same mysterious illness. Kids fell one by one. Black mucus… I got it too. I don’t even know how I got home. I slept for days solid. I woke up. My face covered in black gooey shit, my snot was black. Everyone recovered but everyone fell very ill.
I don’t pretend to know how to make sense out of my Super Soldier memories anymore than I can make sense out of the ritual abuse… some things make sense. I was married to my ex-husband in a Masonic Temple… (straight up ghost stories) there are many paranormal things I have experienced. M’kay, I was sent classified documents on YouTube. One day, YouTube just had an inbox that delivered all sorts of documents to me… in PDF. Project Stargate was one of those CIA doc, and so was a remote viewing manual. I read them.
I know there was a secret breeding program. The Nazis started it in Germany and they brought it with them to America in Paperclip. There were multiple breeding programs but the ones that I know about are the twin experiments. My family has many multiples (my family mostly doesn’t want to face the fact that we were experimented on) my experience is unique though, prolly cause we are a CIA family. Little known fact, if there is one agent in the family, the agency pretty much uses the entire family as assets in one way or another, but only the agent proper makes a wage. Is that a new fancy form of slavery?
can you send us a link to where we can read or buy your book?
hi. interesting convo. my native state is ohio. interesting when i see mk ultra connections coming from out of there. even if someone went to a school like ohio state and becomes linked with mk ultra in a way. for example. i went through the foster system there. i wonder if i was in physical programs but i am most likely milabed. atleast in the dreamland way. never heard of your writings growing up in my native timeline and dimensions. however seems like i can look up everything via web so yes i wonder if the chronical is in physical form to or just electronic.